This is not what it looks like

I walk into my bedroom and find my girlfriend in bed with my room-mate. Stuttering, “Err, s-s-sorry,” I turn around and walk out again. Well that’s what any well brought up young man would do upon entering a bedroom and finding two naked bodies entwined on the bedsheets.
Standing in the hallway outside I realize what I had just seen: my girlfriend in my bed with my room-mate!
From the other side of the closed door I can hear the muffled commotion of my girlfriend and room-mate untangling themselves and scrambling around for their clothes.
While I was in a state of shock, I was also a little lost as to exactly what to do. Having just left I couldn’t very well barge right back in again. On the other hand I couldn’t very well just stand there in the hallway waiting for them to emerge.
So I go to the kitchen to make some coffee. But instead I pour myself a very large whiskey.
Now, everyone knows my room-mate is a lesbian. And she is totally hot. I mean really, totally hot. Every man and every woman wants her. And my girlfriend has always been a little bit suspicious, perhaps even jealous of her and of our friendship with each other. I mean, it’s not like my girlfriend doesn’t trust me, or anything. And I was never going to cheat on her, even if my room-mate hadn’t batted for the other team. But, as I’ve said, my room-mate is totally hot. So the door was always going to be open for that little bit of doubt in my girlfriend’s mind.
At breakfast a few days previously my room-mate had said, “Well, I could always hit on her. That way she would really know that I was gay and not about to try and steal you away from her.”
“Don’t you dare,” I’d laughed, knowing full well that my room-mate was crazy enough to do just that. “I have enough trouble convincing her to hang out here as it is. I don’t need you to scare her off completely.”
“So she’s scared of me, is she?” my room-mate had smiled as she sipped her coffee.
“You know what I mean,” I’d replied.
And I had thought nothing more of it. Until now that is. I took a large sip of my whiskey. Because my room-mate had certainly been hitting on my girlfriend just now! I shudder as I swallow.
They both come into the kitchen, looking very sheepish, my girlfriend’s face bright red, and neither able to look me in the eye.
I am taken aback for the second time that afternoon.
I have never seen my room-mate look sheepish before. She has never been shy about being out. I have often walked in on her making out in front of the TV with any of a long line of girlfriends. And in our small 2 bed apartment we both know when the other isn’t just sleeping in bed. So I didn’t expect her to look sheepish just because I’d accentually walked in on her making love to another girl.
But then again, I take another gulp of my whiskey, she had been in my bed and with my girlfriend when I’d walked in on her. So maybe she feels she has something to feel sheepish about this time.
“It’s not what it looks like,” my girlfriend starts.
“Ah fuck, dude,” my room-mate interrupts her. “It totally is exactly what it looks like.”
“I mean,” my girlfriend shoots her a dirty look. “It just happened…”
“Because I decided to hit on your girlfriend.”
“Agh,” my girlfriend balls up her fists.
“You know that I didn’t expect her to got for it,” my room-mate explains.
“And when she did?” I put my drink down.
“Ah fuck,” she looks at the ground again. “Your girlfriend’s totally hot, man.”
“Yeah, I know.”
We all stand around for a moment.
“So what now?” I look at both of them.
Neither look up.
“Well, you know…” my room-mate starts to say.
I look at her.
“Well it’s just that…” my room-mate starts to draw circles in the dust with her toe. “Well… lately I’ve… always been curious… about, you know,” she shrugs.
“Curious?”
“About, you… you know,” her face is bright red.
“I fucking knew it!” my girlfriend shouts at her.
“No!” my room-mate shot back. “It’s not what it looks like.”
“It totally is exactly what it looks like,” my girlfriend takes a step towards her.
“Whoa there,” I step between them, knowing that no matter how angry my girlfriend is, my room-mate could tear her apart without breaking a sweat. “This is not what it looks like.”
“Huh?”
“It’s not?”
I smile at them, “Look, I’m not angry.”
“Oh.”
“You’re not?”
“I know you two haven’t been fooling around behind my back.”
“No.”
“Totally.”
“I know that sometimes stuff just happens,” I look at my room-mate.
She gives a half shrug and looks away.
“And that nobody planned this,” I look at my girlfriend.
“Absolutely,” she looks up hopefully.
“So, let’s go see if we can work this out,” I take my girlfriend’s hand and my room-mate’s hand and lead them back towards my bedroom.
“Is this what it looks like?”
“It totally is exactly what it looks like.”